albino blueberry...

here's a list (in no particular order) of five things that you should look up if you get a chance

1. Kidrobot's Dunny
Randomly, I got one of these awesome Dunny figures for Christmas. I happened to get this one dunny (bunny) that looks like a thief and comes with a money bag (pictured). I started looking for them online and they're cheap but what's cool are the designs that you can find. Most of them are just plain cool lookin.
Kidrobot Dunny Series 3

2. Cary Brothers
You have to listen to this Indie rocker, nashville native. You may have already heard him on both the Garden State and The Last Kiss soundtracks... or have even seen him perform on the awesome show Scrubs. If you can only check out one song, you have to listen to his song, "blue eyes"... and "honestly"... (I know I said one song but... you just gotta hear him out.)
Great sound.
Cary Brothers Official website

3. Augustana
While we're on the topic of music, you might as well check out this band. Their music is nice to listen to... in fact you should watch their video for their single Boston, which also happens to be my favorite Augustana song.

4.Book of James
This was the book we finished last semester in my bible study. This book is majorly applicable for daily life and its hard to just put this one book away. It covers trials, faith, the tongue, wisdom, reliance on God, boasting, and more. It was an interesting book to go over and I suggest you read it atleast once, if you already havent. And probably my favorite verses from James...
Speak and act as those who are going to be jusdged by the law that gives freedom, because judgement without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgement!
(2:12-13)

5.www.clearification.com
I heard about this website from some friends at Pour Cafe in tuscaloosa. It was made by the comedian Demitri Martin. The main feature of the website are a series of 6 webisodes about Demitri going to the Institute for Advanced Personhood. However the best part of the website is listening to all his "thoughts" while in the menus (or choosing which one to listen to by clicking on 'thoughts' in the menu bar). His 'thoughts' are pretty much jokes you would hear in stand-up comedy but it's like he's personally talking to you. It's hilarious go check it out.
http://clearification.com/






If you look any of these up I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.
If you got any questions just talk to me.

remember to breathe...

i dont know if you know about all the Bellevue controversies... if you are from the memphis area or know someone from memphis you might have heard about it. in context with this post it doesnt matter if you know about the scandals or not. i would point you to a website but all i've heard or read has been generally biased one way or the other.

at this time there are a lot of problems and accusations, a lot of it has been stirred up by angry people or by the grapevine and so it's hard to know what the truth is and what was just a rumor. one thing i have noticed when i hear people talk about the scandals and the people who may be involved, all they do is complain and say, "[this or that person] should leave the church/resign"

I have yet to hear from one person, "we should help [this or that person]"... if some of the allegations are true, then yeah there has been a lot of stuff that is totally inappropriate. However I dont think kicking them out or making them resign will really solve anything... sure we'll get new people and bellevue will be restored to it's pedestal (slight sarcasm)... it'll just be a temporary solution to a secondary problem. i think as Christ followers we should really invest our time in the lives of everyone... that even goes for anyone who has wronged us personally or the church.

I think we are forgetting how we are sinners just like everyone else. just because they were in the church administration doesnt make any difference. they are broken people. i'm a broken person. I hope people would help me. we should help them. If i ever understand the whole situation (not just hearsay) and i get the opportunity, i will do my best to help out or point in the direction of someone who is more qualified. Maybe stronger accountability is needed, i dont know, but whatever it is... i want to help.

at this time let's lift up this problem to Jesus. He has conquered the world and is in control of all of this. Let's pray for Bellevue, it's members/administration/leaders and that through all of this Christ is glorified and through His will, let's show the world what it's like to be Christians even when things may seem chaotic.

that's what i think.

if you lived here you'd be home now...

It's nice to come back home after you've been away from it for so long. Honestly I havent done anything incredibly productive while i've been here... I mean, i've done some fun stuff, i've hung out with my much-missed friends, drawn a little bit, taken some pictures, played some nintendo, watched scrubs (i'm on the 3rd season now... it's so funny)... but you know - i havent even thought of preparing for school or for anything. It's nice to be back home... to always have some food in the fridge or in a cabinet... to have a big warm bed ready for naps.

OK, home isnt perfect. there are many things that i wish i could forget... but all of that doesnt matter. Things here used to be regular and routine... and though i like being at college, it's a great feeling to be back... to remember those days.

To me being home is like watching old reruns on TV. Everything seems so familiar but no matter how many times i've seen it, i wouldnt dare change the channel.

Speaking of channels, nintendo released their weather forecast channel for the nintendo wii. It's pretty cool. If you have a wii, you should update it when you get a chance.

I'm no superman...

I dont watch that much tv. I also rarely get hooked into series... so what this means is that for me to say that this show has gotten me hooked means that you gotta see this show. Of course i'm talking about the show... Scrubs



I caught a few episodes while studying for my exams and I could not stop laughing... it actually was a bad distraction HOWEVER I started to watch the series from the beginning and i'm on the 9th episode of the 1st season and it has been such a joy to watch. Most of the jokes are very clever and these characters are really interesting to watch.

The theme song is short, but I got a hand on the full version of Lazlo Bane's Superman... it's such a catchy song. I suggest you find it. BUT incase you cant, you can watch the low quality music video for this song...



The theme song really fits very well with the shows general mood. It's pretty light-hearted but all of the characters have some kind of obstacle that is getting in their way. They are no superman--they cant save every life, they are going to make mistakes.

It's a really funny show and most every episode leaves you with a warm feeling inside. Find it on your local listings and check it out.

you'll be given love...

Bjork is really weird... however she has some really enjoyable songs. The song that I want you to go listen to right now, is Bjork's All is Full of Love. Though I don't really agree entirely with this song, there's def. some cool lyrics and the sound of the song is very soothing. It's def. worth checking out even if you dont like Bjork.

All is Full of Love
You'll be given love
You'll be taken care of
You'll be given love
You have to trust it

Maybe not from the sources
You have poured yours

Maybe not
From the directions
You are
Staring at

Twist your head around
It's all around you
All is full of love
All around you

All is full of love
You just ain't receiving
All is full of love
Your phone is off the hook
All is full of love
Your doors are all shut
All is full of love

All is full of love...

My favorite part of the song is:

You'll be given love
Maybe not from the sources
You have poured yours
Maybe not
From the directions
You are
Staring at

i think that's a pretty true statement. we as fallen people put our lives into many different things and a lot of the time they arent the things we should be loving. I'd say that the only right place to put our love into is trying to be more like Christ and following Him through all our trials and upsets. And by loving Christ, our love IN Him will then spread to the other areas of our lives and then we can love people by showing others God's love.

so anyways, i'm going to put this song on my radioblog soon... so you guys can check that out when it gets there... or listen to the song by some other means. You can also watch the video by clicking the "play" button below. Warning: the video is a tad sketchy...

can't say I'm sad to see you go...

I've got pretty much three more days until I'm done with the semester. I've just got to make it through the last days and i'll be home on Thursday. i guess we'll see if i make it.

I will summarize what you've missed since my last entry:

• study, study, study...
  
• I got my nintendo wii and the game Red Steel. It's a lot of fun, but because of school I havent really had the opportunity to play much...
  
• I started up drawing again during my breaks...
• the weather has been cold and windy... it's felt so good.
• i'm not so bad at poker...
• i made wassail... mmm.. wassail = Christmas in a mug
  

I guess that's about it... not too exciting but still...

I've been really busy with studying however I was able to get an awesome day off this past friday. Well, I studyed in the day time, however that night Calvary had a progressive dinner. It was so good, we had just about every appetizer you could think of at one house, then we had the main course at the seller's house--dinner consisted of lasana, salad, bread and some apple cider! We then went back to the FLC center for desserts and again it was all very good. I did a lot of well-needed socializing...

THEN after that I headed over to Deuce-One for their Christmas party. A great party with cookies, a bon-fire, apple cider, and fun. I met a lot of cool people and talked to some old friends. I broke out my camera since i havent been able to take pictures for awhile...

so friday was pretty much the best day ever.

or well, close to it.

what's written on my heart...

Flyleaf just keeps on surprising me. They have so many different versions of their songs that it just makes me happy. One of my favorite songs by them is "I'm So Sick" and normally when I play the album version of this song for people and I tell them that this is a Christian band people always get kinda confused and ask, "Should a Christian be saying they feel worthless, hopeless, and sick?"

Well on 3/31/06 at Off The Wagon, Lacey Mosely prefaced this song by saying,

"I don't know if any of you guys have noticed but sometimes this world can be a sick and messed up place. I dont know what kind of home you grew up in but there are a lot of people who grow up in sick and messed up homes. There was a girl on the internet i was talking to the other day and her name, her screenname is "My friends are God's apology for my family." I thought that was really sad but it's true and that's the whole point is that, you know, just because you grow up in a sick and messed up place you can recognize it's messed up and you can change it and you can break the cycle and that is what this song is about..."

and Flyleaf Online's FAQ quotes Lacey on the radio saying,

"I'm So Sick is about how the world can sometimes be a sick and messed up place and how that influences us and tells us how we should live or who we should be. People do things just 'cause everyone else does and then they wonder why they feel empty all the time. Someone who has a firm stance in what they know to be true will empower empty followers to discover who they are as individuals with purposes and this creates leaders with voices of their own."

You can listen to the Flyleaf album version on the radio.blog in the right hand column by clicking on the song. There are a few changes between the album version and the EP version. Instead of " You sink into my clothes (album)" it's "You sink into my thoughts (EP)" there are also some other changes but on the EP version there are Two stanzas that are not in the album version at all... but here's the lyrics to I'm So Sick on the Flyleaf EP:

I'm So Sick

I will break
Into your thoughts
With what's written on my heart
I will break

You broke into my thoughts
This invasion makes me feel
Worthless, hopeless, sick
I'm so sick

If you want
More of this
We can push out, sell out, die out
So you'll shut up
And stay sleeping
With my screaming in your itching ears

I'm so sick
Infected with
Where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss, selfishness
Let me live

Hear it
I'm screaming it
You're heeding to it now

You broke into my thoughts
This invasion makes me feel
Worthless, hopeless, sick
I'm so sick

I'm so sick
Infected with
Where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss, selfishness
Let me live

I reveal
What you steal from
All of us
We take it back
We take it back

You broke into my thoughts
This invasion makes me feel
Worthless, hopeless, sick
I'm so sick

But I heal
With this story always working
Constant purpose
But I heal
I won't compromise and I heal

Well by listening or reading either version of the song, you can see the general message is the same. The world is such a sick place that it even creeps into our thoughts. It changes the way we think we should behave or dress, the way we perceive others, the way we perceive ourselves, what we think we need, what it means to be successful, everything. Personally, I know that most of the time the world has effected the way I think about myself. I think I need to please everyone and when I'm dont, I get angry at myself and I get sad that i'm not "better" or like this or that other person. That's something that I struggle with majorly. So when I hear this song I get happy because someone knows what I've felt. I realize what the world has done to me and how i've let it get to me and how sick I feel when I understand that.

Now, there is one major difference in the Album vs. EP versions. The EP version has these two awesome stanzas in there that give a little bit more hope than the Album version does. Particularly the second of the two stanzas, which ends the song, says something awesome,

But I heal
With this story always working
Constant purpose
But I heal
I won't compromise and I heal

So, I may be "worthless, hopeless, sick" but I'm getting better. I'm not going to compromise what I know is true, what I believe and I'm going to get better.

All of this reminds me of a few verses one in particular John 16:33

33"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

You might also want to look at 1 John 5:1-12. Verse 5 says,

5Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.

So now what? Well listen to people, and if you find someone who's really getting caught up in the world, Christian or not, or maybe they're feeling overwhelmed, hopless, or tired of it all... love them. It's like that song we sing at the Well sometimes, Light of the World, let King Jesus "Shine, breathe, live through us" Share and spread God's love and mercy like we have all been shown. And one of my favorite verses from all time:

12Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, 13because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!
James 2:12-13

Know that I'll be praying for you, whoever reads this, that the world doesnt bring you down and that you find hope in Christ Jesus who has overcome this sick place we live in and that you can rise above it also.

reinventing my exit...

By the way, I have a new website layout... click the pic to check it out.



I still have a TON of stuff to add... and there are still going to be a few things that need to be changed... however... i like this layout sooo.. I hope you like it and maybe more people will actually go to my website if I update it more often...

to write love on her arms...

because for some reason i havent posted it here...

To Write Love on Her Arms (watch the video)
I would suggest pausing the music in the right hand column before starting the video...




It's a great movement of love to help those who are struggling with depression, cutting, as well as other things... They are not really affilliated with any specific church but in their FAQS they have a response to that:

Q:Is TWLOHA Christian?
A. We feel that the story (and the rest of this project) speaks for itself. Identifying something (such as a band, store, venue or project) as "Christian" often alienates those outside of the church/christian culture and we don't want to do that. TWLOHA aims to be inclusive and inviting. This is a project for all people. This is a project for broken people, and it is led by broken people.

I can understand why they would decide to do that, but you can tell even by their story that they are not leaving Christ out of the picture:

"It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms."

The video above is only a glimpse of the true story of renee and where TWLOHA is right now.

i'm all for it. I want to help. If you are interested... go visit their websites at:

http://twloha.com/
or
http://www.myspace.com/towriteloveonherarms


even if you dont want to necessarily help THIS org...
help people who are going through depression and other hard times by showing them love. and not just any love, the love of Christ that's in us and that we should be sharing with the world.

May the Mind of Christ, My Savior

for those wondering what i've had written of my arm the past couple of days...
----
May the Mind of Christ, My Savior
May the mind of Christ, my Savior,
Live in me from day to day,
By His love and power controlling
All I do and say.

May the Word of God dwell richly
In my heart from hour to hour,
So that all may see I triumph
Only through His power.

May the peace of God my Father
Rule my life in everything,
That I may be calm to comfort
Sick and sorrowing.

May the love of Jesus fill me
As the waters fill the sea;
Him exalting, self abasing,
This is victory.

May I run the race before me,
Strong and brave to face the foe,
Looking only unto Jesus
As I onward go.

May His beauty rest upon me,
As I seek the lost to win,
And may they forget the channel,
Seeing only Him.
---
This is one of my favorite hymns, not because the words are just amazing, but because you can also look at this as a prayer. Each stanza has something that we should all strive to be and it's a wonderful reminder of what I want to be. I write it on my arm so that I can have a constant reminder to watch what I say and what I think about. It's also awesome because people ask me what's written there so I get a chance to share with them...

so yeah i hope you're having a great day.

some flowers just bloom dead...

Now in another world
I could learn to forget
But 'til then I'm here
making room for new regrets
Now some flowers they never bloom
And some flowers just bloom dead

Fall break was great, and i cant really describe it in words so i suggest you just look at the pictures i uploaded onto facebook. (i'm glad I got to see a couple of faces that really made me laugh)

What I am about to say is something that i wish to shout from the mountain tops, but because tuscaloosa's mountainous areas are just too much to handle, how about here and now:

DONT ASK, "HOW ARE YOU?" IF YOU DO NOT REALLY WANT AN ANSWER!*
*(in this case, caps lock really does mean i'm shouting)

Lately people have been throwing it into conversations as though it doesnt mean anything, and leaving me about to pour my soul out to them. i find it to be very misleading and leaves me confused when people will say,"how are you, JP?" and immediately walk away in fluid motion.

honestly, it's makin me wonder who really cares, or even basically, "does anyone care?" You may be thinking that it would be easy to come up with an answer... but i'm still trying to figure it out. it makes me sad, sometimes i think people generally care... but i'm growing more and more cynical because you don't.

if you dont mean it, dont even bring it up.

Now, you may just reply back and say, "JP, "how are you" has become an expression similarly used like a common "hello," you are over reacting." or as many of you have already pointed out, "JP, you are being emo..."
and then i'm going to follow that up by having to back hand slap you.

oh yeah and these whole "leave a memory" notes are getting very annoying.

i'm feeling lost inside the low...

If you have been keeping up with me at all since last year, one thing that you may know about me is that though i have a few passions, i really have no clue what i want to do with my life. More importantly, i dont know what God wants me to do with my life.

really i just pray it's not a regular office job, because i might just go insane

so on my mind and heart has been missions... now, if you have read my entry from Oct 5, you might know that i'm just afraid that i may not be ready and that i feel under qualified to be a missionary or involved with missions at all. (Side note: dont worry if you havent read it, cause i'm just going to take a stab at it and say that 95% of my friends dont read my blog)

I Thessalonians 5:24, "The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it."

this I Thessalonian verse was read at the Well, a week ago (i think). anyways, ive really been giving this verse a lot of thought. because i think the problem really is that i may be a little too selfish because here i am afraid that i may go on a summer mission trip and mess everything up. But what i'm forgetting is that God is in control. He may be calling me to do missions, but whether or not i think i'm ready is not the point... the point is that He will use me and He will do it. i just need to give everything to God, because He's gonna use whatever happens to His glory.

if you tarry till you're better you will never come at all (Hymn: Come, Ye Sinners, Poor and Needy)

I pray so that He can help guide me into the path He wants me to go and so i can become the Christ-follower He wants me to be. He may or may not want me in missions, He may have something even better planned... i dont know the answer for that right now... but i'm going to ask you to pray for me too... or just keep me in mind... it would be encouraging to know there are people thinking of me and also investing a little time (even if it's a simple prayer) to help me and keep me accountable along God's path.

----
A few blog notes: I added a blog radio on the right column, feel free to leave a note to suggest a song to add or just enjoy the music i've already put on there. All the songs are full songs, so if after a few seconds, if it just stops and moves on to the next song, it probably means you have a slow internet connection and it cant keep up with the song. so what you should do then is wait a few seconds and then reclick the selected song for it to play. Sorry if it doesnt work correctly...

one sweet day, you're gonna drown in my lost pain...

Remind me to never stay up all night to then go to class early in the morning... i mean i guess the brightside is that i now i have a vague idea of what it's like to be sleep deprived. You see, because of my foolish procrastination I found myself staying up writing a prep speech outline on "Drugs in Rave Culture," as well as an english research paper, " Video Game Violence," and then studying for a test that I had the class after those two obstacles.

My public speaking was a sinch. My teacher was sick so we ended class after about 20-30 minutes of class. I turned in my outline and things were all good.

Right before going into my english class, Caroline reminded me that we had to have three copies of our paper so with 15 minutes to spare i scrambled to find the nearest copy machine. It ends up that the closest one was at Gorgas Library; for some reason it makes sense in my mind to have a copy machine in the English department... but i guess that's out of my hands. We did peer reviews and things were all good.

I ate lunch with Keith, Brett, Molly, and co. This was about the time that my sleep deprivation had started to become an ailment. Everything had been fine until... my head started to hurt like i was getting a headache... but not quite a headache... it was more or less just uncomfortable... then I started to feel nauseated. My stomach was curling in itself as though my abdomen had become a manual butter churner... (you know, one of those old wooden inventions from the colonial days?) it sucked. But i went to the SUPe store and bought my test booklets and headed to class. I started to wonder if I threw up during my test if they'd let me retake it. hah... but I get to class to find out my teacher has moved the test over a week. ... are you kidding me? would it have hurt to let the students know? maybe if i had known that i didnt have a test i would get an inkling of sleep. but, no.

jerk.

oh, well.

so i meant to go to the BCM today... but I kinda fell into a little nap and woke up about 30min after it finished so ... oops. I meant to introduce myself to a few people that i see all the time. but i guess it's okay that i didnt. as i say, "let's try to not burden the masses..." ok so i may not actually say that often or at all... but doesnt make it any less true.

Next week, thursday/friday, fall break.
i'm going home. 3 people may come with.
(nice dream)

outscreaming these lies...

hi reader,

how's the world treating you these days?

if good, go to A.
if bad, go to B.

A: well i suppose some of us better be...

B: it happens... but maybe you'll once you get past it things will probably amazing! Go pray or read the Bible... just not ecclesiastes...

You know lately, God has really been trying to speak to me... no matter whether I'm at church, life groups, BCM. Everything that's said has normally been relevant to either what i've been thinking of or a conversation i've had with someone... it's pretty cool. I've been really thinking of missions lately but i dont really know if i'm ready or not, you know? like i feel as though i need to go and take some test to see if i'm qualified... i dont think there is one... but it would be easier if there was one...

I've been meeting a lot of seemingly friendly people recently... i say "seemingly" cause i really dont know them yet and i'm hoping they are not just "fair-weather" friends... Some are really good Christians and I want to share with them but i'm just kinda waiting for an opportunity. but i dont know... if history proves to be anything... we probably wont be friends... or atleast not for very long...

20 years of sleep,
before we sleep
forever

I can feel you all around me...

Sooo... i guess i dont have to say that school has been tough, as you can probably see from my last post that, well, it's been a while...

I've got so much to do this week, but what better to do than just talk about how much i have to do and skip out on the work! Procrastination- It's what I do best..

TO DO:
Write/memorize speech, due thursday
Write paper, due thursday
Design Newsletter/Flyer thing for BCM, no real due date
Photoshoot with The Upside, sometime
Design Logo for The Upside, sometime
Need to work on my stagnant website
Pour, thursday
5 min (atleast) of quiet time, everyday
DREAM, ALL THE TIME

Good things:
Mondays now have something to redeem itself... and me... i guess. My Bible study from Calvary is awesome. It's a good group of guys and we're going over the book of James. Everything is def. applicable to everyday life and I really want to grow, so i know that God will use this opportunity to help me as well as possibly use that time for me to share with others my testimony...

People have been taking notice to my photography which maybe God will use it for His plan or maybe, He wants me to use it in the future... I dont know, I suppose I still dont really know what direction the Lord wants me to take... but I'm hoping photography might be involved...

DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE is coming to Bham and i already bought tickets to go see them on the 16th of November so AGH! i'm excited. I'm going with Spencer, Laine, Maggs, and Chela so it's going to be fun.

FLYLEAF is like the best band ever. I love them. and they need to come play in either bham or memphis or nashville, because I REALLY WANT TO SEE THEM LIVE!!! agh! (http://www.flyleafmusic.com/)

To Write Love On Her Arms, TWLOHA, is also awesome, It'd also be awesome if they came and some where close to me. I purchased one of their tshirts and I really want it to come in, cause it's a great cause and it's not bad a bad tshirt. (www.TWLOHA.com)

Bad Things:
There are many bad things going on but, you know, I almost dont want to talk about it, which is certainly a change... My hazelnut cappuccino is really good and I dont want to lose the moment.

the beast who shouted love to the world...

---

The picture above would be my most recent deviation on the wonderful community that is, deviantART. The picture was hard to take, because since noone was there to help, I had to just guess the shot pretty much. I used my Minolta Maxxum5 with b/w film and my camera's timer. Once I hit the trigger I had to run onto this stool I had taken from my house so that the camera could get a good shot of the clouds.

I had to do some minimal photoshop editing...
1) Changed the hue
2) Edited the top some fence that made it into the picture (i took this in my backyard)
3) Edited a few streaks that the walgreens printing had left

So i didnt want to do to much editing... I may later try to later change some of the contrast to make the white of the clouds REALLY white... but for now i'm alright with this picture. I'll probably reshoot this one later...

...a few days till i leave for tuscaloosa... sigh....

everything is starting to die...

+ 24 Hour Party
so the 2nd 24 Hour Party started... I arrived late because I took a nap. I was in the middle of a nightmare where I was driving and before passing through an intersection the railroad crossing lights started flashing but the cross guards werent working... so I didnt know if I should stop or not... I passed to find out that the whole intersection had become row after row of crossing railroad tracks... with lights for each rail I started driving through the endless tracks trying to find safety... but then Grant called me and saved me from my nightmare...

I was late and they were at McAlisters waiting for me. Eventually Cole, Grant, Emily, Stephen, Laura, and I went to Target and Wal-Mart in search of a hacky sack. After an awkward moment involving flailing hands... We left for Austin's house where most of our time was spent... People swam or got pushed into the pool, people ate dinner, watched a movie, played around, and then most everyone fell asleep...

I however did not... I let them sleep for awhile, until I thought it was about time that we start moving onto graceland too. people just kept wanting more sleep and I kept pushing more and more for people to get up. I sang jingles, told random facts, jokes to try and get them up but noone wanted to... I went into the other room... and that's when I realized I was being annoying...

Everyone was tired, and here I am annoying the crap out of everyone. I thought about it, I couldnt believe I was doing that. People have told me before how annoying and pestering I can be. I see now that's what they meant. I didnt want to be the cause of everyone's pain. I wanted people to have fun... so I eliminated the problem... i left. As I was getting my stuff, Laura asked where I was going... so i lied, i told her that because everyone was sleeping we werent going to need the things i brought so I was putting them in my car...

I walked outside to find that it was pouring... hard enough (with flooding) that I shouldnt go driving at 2:30 in the morning... but I went anyways, if my friends were going to have fun, i couldnt be around. So I drove off with low visibility and going about an avg of 20-35 miles an hour while text messaging Austin. He has been really friendly but after being hurt as often as i have, i wonder if it's genuine. He tried to get me to come back, however I couldnt face everyone now...

Anyways I got home and just went to bed. I'm not even sure if people stayed after that. Cole told me he got up at 4am and people were still sleeping, I think he said he left after that... so i dont know if people left or if they stayed for the rest of the 24 hour party... I wanted them to have fun - so that's why i left... so i hope they did.

i hope they can forgive me for being so annoying... how can they put up with someone like me? I cant stand myself.

how would i know, why should i care...

So a lot of cool things have happened lately...

Well first, this is my last week at work and that's pretty freakin' awesome if I do say so myself.

Second, Elliott Davis stopped by Memphis and while he was in town Elliott, his cousin Sarah, and I hung out downtown. I had a lot more fun downtown then i normally do, I actually did a lot of touristy things though... But first, Elliott and Sarah quickly figured out that I have a problem with direction... haha.. i got lost so many times... whoops...

So anyways, we rode a horse carriage and it was a lot more interesting than i thought it would be, I had a lot of fun. We also were able to go on Beale Street which was surprising considering the police were already carding... (we asked if we could go, and they just let us through without question...) We stayed on Beale for a long time, we walked and looked into bars (because they were carding at the doors) and we watched people go by, and listened to a few bands and watched someone paint. It was a lot of fun... I have some pictures but they're not developed yet so hopefully i can get them printed soon.

Lastly, Monday night I was able to hang out with Austin Grisham, first we went to Sakura, this awesome amazing sushi place in germantown (it def. has the best sushi i've had). We then were unsure what to do but since we both like photography we started talking about it, so we came to the conclusion that we were going to take some pictures. We went to go buy some B/W film and we ran into Mrs. Cotten, which was really random but really cool. Austin showed me this really cool place that's above an interstate (i guess) and we started taking pictures of the traffic below us trying to get the result where you get a streaked light effect... but i figured out how to get my camera to keep it's shutter open which was cool. I'm glad we went cause he's really helping me improve and experiment in my photography. I can't wait to get this roll printed, but i have to finish the B/W.

so my most recent work of art is what i've been working on for my laptop cover. I already submitted it to http://www.schtickers.com - I should hopefully get it in by the end of the week. Here is what I sent in:

(click for full view)

I really like this piece, it's probably one of my favorites... i'm currently working on a different version of this. The Japanese on the left is read (from top to bottom, right column first) like,

"miageta yozora no hoshi-tachi no hikari

hikari-tsuzuke yo ano hoshi no you ni"

and it roughly means,

"look up at the light of the stars in the night sky
shine on, like that star"

So I think it's cool anyways...

well I' m on my way to bed and I'll come back in fix this post up tomorrow... goooooooooood night

For you i'm a pushover...

So here i find myself (not having updated my blog in a little over a month) with not much to say...

but that's ok! i'm sure i'll just wing it!

Well since the last post i've started work back up at Mallory Alexander International Logistics as and intern where i do meaningless tasks of little importance and try to stay awake through the 8am to 5pm work schedule. Even after a year goes by NOTHING exciting happens there. I get so bored... but i have to just make it through one more week, because my last day is the 4th of August. Thus far I have earned roughly $400... not too shabby...

Now I would like to discuss something that I dont understand...
As you might be able to tell, I dont really like what I do for a summer job, i hate the hours and feel no fulfillment when the work is done... however, maybe it's just me or what i perceive from my co-workers, but noone seems to like what they are doing. All they do is complain about how much "blah blah blah -profanity- i hate working here, blah blah blah i cant wait to leave, blah blah blah i'm sneaking out early... etc..."
So this brings me to my point... WHAT IS UP WITH THE TRAFFIC!!!!!!!!!????????? I mean people are complete maniacs when heading to work, it's so crazy! what i dont understand is WHY ARE THEY IN SUCH A HURRY TO GET TO A PLACE THEY HATE SO MUCH!?!?!?!?!? When I was taking drivers ed, my teacher said that each person has about 200,000 (or so) almost crashes.... and now I believe it!
People need to just calm the heck down!


In other news, I've been listening to The Long Winters' new album Putting the Days Back to Bed... it's not bad, it's really growing on me, but so far, the best song is Pushover, maybe some more will latch on to me, but for now, i'm happy with that one song.

I usually like to try an put an image on every single post, but today i'm running a little short on images on my computer... so just wait...

ja mata!

where i end and you begin...

you must think you are special
they talk about you with wonderful words
it leaves me motionless, empty
their acceptance is much greater for you
isnt it?
as their eyes focus on you
at the same time i feel them leaving me
i can only breathe the neglect in the air
its heavy under the shadow of the loved
they dont know who you can be
but ive felt the pain, your rejection
the same rejection from everyone
the ones i thought id have for myself
have found you to be greater
did you do this?
have i always been unappealing?
well i cant change
i cant change now
the ugly duck is still able to be a graceful swan
but what of the ugly swan?
what can it be but an ugly swan?
all thats real? inadequacy?
the hedgehog's dilemma
inept to be social because of you
you?
wooer of their affection
you?
deciever of truth
you?
you killed me
am i happy?
of course i am happy
am i happy?
i am happy
am i happy?
am i really happy?
am i happy?
no. no i'm not happy. i dont like this at all.
i am the one at fault
i understand why they hate me
i am dirty, sick
i do not compare
i only bring the dim light of disappointment
let down and hanging around
hysterical and useless
leave me
leave me to my dark shroud
leave me to my empty room
i am the beast that shouted love to the world
and was betrayed in return

it's always you we've waited on...

so I have finally started reworking my website... you may be thinking... you have a website? You would be asking yourself that because I really havent updated in forever and not even mentioning that what it had on it was completely unfinished, with maybe 1 or 2 links updated.

well at this moment, I have pretty much completed 3 sections of the entire whole. I am currently working on the "friends" section of the website, it is going to really give me a headache... I have a lot to do... but I'll be working hard on it. It's one of my projects for the summer... so i know i'm going to finish it before school starts. Plus, once all the basics skeletons are set up, it really wont be hard to update it during school.

here is the latest website preview:

http://jrfranco.no-ip.com/jp/

please go visit my site!! LEAVE ME A MESSAGE ON MY SHOUTBOX!!!
tell me what you think! leave suggestions! please!!!

oh yeah, my summer is going great! :)

simple kind of life...

Now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life
How'd I get so faithful to my freedom?
A selfish kind of life
When all I ever wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life

This semester is almost over. I should be more honest- it's already over for me. As embarrassing as it is to say, I withdrew from the semester. every class. I jumped ship. You dont know the feeling, the embarrassment I feel when people ask me, "are you ready for your exams?" or "Good luck on your finals!" The embarrassment that comes when I tell them, "I withdrew." Who knows what they are thinking of me? That i'm a failure? That i'm lazy? They may be right, however i'm still ashamed. They dont know what i'm going through, the thoughts that have been cycling my mind, the pressure, the lack of motivation. Even if they say they do, I'll them not to belittle my experiences. My parents are pushing me to figure what I want to do, and at time trying to decide for me... all the while, different people telling me how good i am at different things and how i should pursue them. People are trapping me in the eye of storming ideas, a cyclone and i'm stuck in the middle. yes, i've prayed, and prayed, and prayed for direction. but I still have no idea. Lord God, what do I need to be doing?!?! It's frustrating - i'll look foolish... because i'm a failure in all eyes.

I've met some of my best friends this semester, people like Zach, Barrett, Josh, and Jordan... they're all such great friends, they have so much going on but they always get them done. I hope they come visit me when I'm home... they're going to be what i'll miss about Tuscaloosa. Though I do miss my friends from home, these guys have really made an impression on me. I look at them and I think that God sent them for me, so that I can see them and say maybe there is hope for me too. I dont look to the famous for inspiration, I'd rather look at the unpolished. I look at them and think, "maybe i'm not a failure." my actions prove otherwise... but i'm trying.

not about love...

this is not about love
cause i am not in love
in fact, i can't stop falling out

Ok, something that seems to be the flavor of the week is the topic about how I do not appreciate displaying affection in any form. Now before you ask, yes, my parents did hug me as a child. Something that is not being taken in to account is that unlike everyone else, love/romance/dating has never been a priority of mine at all. This isn't different for me, i've always been this way. I dont need to be "cured" - this is not a disease.

To clear up any misunderstandings:
1. I'm not looking for love.
2. I'm not looking to get married.
(and before you ask questions...)
3. I'm def. not looking to have children. dont like 'em. dont want 'em.

Now, i can be perfectly honest and say that of course I have given thought to asking a few girls out... not once have i regretted not asking them out. I can be perfectly honest and say that after waiting I realized how much we would have clashed, how much things wouldnt have worked out. I mean, I'm glad i'm friends with them... but it really wouldnt have worked out. I require certain things from any potentials and if they're not met... I have no reason to settle.

Also, something that is getting around is that I dont like PDA. Yeah, I dont like it. I mean, as much as I love watching other people "in love" getting close to each other with various touchings, I dont. Hell, i'm happy for ya'll, glad things are going just swell... and I dont really mind the little stuff like hugging, really i dont mind... but i really dont want to see couples going at it. Go get a room, i find your groping and kissing obnoxious, keep it in private.

If "love" comes for me, if anything is supposed to happen... then it'll need to find me. God may have someone in stored for me - then again He may not, and i'm ok with that.

And though this is getting a little bit too personal on my part, if I start going out with some girl, I'm not kissing her probably months after we start. Yeah, I get weird looks about that, probably like the one you have now reading this. But you know, that's a personal decision of mine. I dont want to just give myself away... I want to make sure it's for the "one"... if there is a "one" in God's plan for me. If someone was to forcefully steal this from me, i can promise you - First, you are not, or no longer, my friend. Second, I'm going to do all i can to make your life a living hell for you. Third, you will soon despise me.

I've sat here and debated whether to tell you some of my requirements for the girl - things which could not be debated over. And I decided, i'll just open your minds just a tad...
ichi. of course, she's got to be a Christian. I want her to be able to discuss with me about Christianity - in other words, a strong Christian.
ni. she cant be a smoker. in fact, she cant have ever smoked. you may think, "how petty." Well then you probably dont know how much of an anti-smoker I am. I think it's disgusting - not to mention stupid. To clarify, I mean smoking or tobacco products of any kind - cigarette, cigar, pipes, hookah... i dont care, the answer is no. I dont want to be sharing lips with any cheap, tar-mouthed ho-bag.
san. she cant be a drinker. sorry, if that just bursts another bubble, but i've made a vow not to drink any alcohol - wine or otherwise. it just really wouldn't work out for me, sorry. I kick it sober. my girl's got to be with me on that one.
yon. hopefully this was obvious, but just in case, no drugs. I've dealt with people who were addicts and so no, not my scene.
go. independent. I give an automatic "no" to high maintenance girls. I dont want the girl to be clinging on to me for life support, i need some space. I mean she doesnt need to be completely independent, but i'm nobody's iron lung.

I have more requirements, but i'm going to keep those to myself, cant have you knowing everything about me... that and i'm tired...

so i hope this has been an educational moment for everyone as it sure has been a pleasure for me.

tonight the sky is painted melancholy...

I see the world in a swirl of hues,
but my favorite color is shame...

01. i write sins, not tragedies
I dont know... but it seems that some of you have this preconceived notion that i'm some sort of perfect being or untarnished person, that i must fulfill some requirement that you have setup in this world of yours.

Well, allow me to relieve this by expressing to you how much i dont have to live up to your standards.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm fallen... that i'm a wretched, sinful monster. I am not quite sure if a happy face, smile, and trying to be nice leaves a different impression... Yes, I lie... and sometimes I'll lie straight to your face. I'm not proud of that, but I will.

I also possess the ability to competely annoy people (i've been told I do this like a pro.) And you know what? I'm not going to know, if you dont tell me. So just come up to me and tell me if you have a problem with me... yes, i'll be embarrassed... yes, it may be awkward... but you know what? I might just do my best to make things right. However I might just tell you that you are a jerk and to get the hell away from me. roll the dice... take a chance. things usually will roll in your favor.

On the otherhand... setting up a plan for me and forcing me to change is not the way to make things right. It's obnoxious. I'm not here like a lump of clay for you to mold. I'm hard and rigid. If i'm going to change, the initative is going to come from me... if you want to help me, pray for me.

All that said, i have a tendency to just not go to class. I also am sure that, at this point, i cant fix the grades that I will have at the end of this semester. So all of you can just stop worrying about me. I appreciate the concern but enough's enough... I dont mind you expressing any worries to me, but after that... let me worry about it. I dont need you here pushing me. I am prepared to accept the repercussions i'll receive because of my actions... or non-actions, i guess.

I'm not going to sit here and lie to you and say that everything's working when everythings broken... but if you want to help me - pray... if you want to be oppressive and point out how wrong I am and tell me what I must do then... let me tell you:

if you notice something wrong about me - I'm probably way ahead of you.
if you want to tell me what I must do - I'll tell you where to shove it.

i'm serious, pray for me, it'll be for the best.

02. loose ends
I guess I should open some eyes a bit about the future.
Yes, I will be going to school at UA for fall 2006 - spring 2007.
Yes, I will be dropping the fraternity.
Yes, I will be going back to memphis for my third year.
No, I dont know if i'll be back.
sorry.

03. optimistic
I cant go on and not mention how much fun I had in the past couple of hours. I met up with Jordan, Paige, Megan, Devin, Brian, Zach, Laine, and... i forget his name at the crimson cafe. Well, I do believe we were going to first play a board game... but no... even better... we got to play hide and seek in the quad! it was an awesome time. A great way to end the night! We were all like, "i'm hiding" but two people are like "i'm seeking" and then we ran around and hid and sought... it was pretty awesome... I think we played maybe like 3 rounds or so... we're crazy... I'm not sure if playing hide and seek was ever in my view of college... but who cares!?! it was totally awesome.

Tonight the sky is painted melancholy
and the wind sings songs as if it would lament
some tragedy on the far side of the world.

drifting away like a feather in air...

What I am asking myself is where do I begin? I mean, really, so much has happened in the past few days.

Part 1: Fun, fun, fun till the tree took the sock away...
Well I suppose I should say that it began shortly after I finished having lunch with Jordan, Paige, Megan so-and-so, Megan's boyfriend, Elissa, some guy, Zach P., and Brian. Jordan, Brian, Zach, and I decided we were going to go hang out on the quad, but because of some conflicts we moved to another quad like area around between Manly and the art buildings. We rendezvoused with Mary Elizabeth and Laine under the tree we know to be "James I." We chatted for awhile, enjoying nature, until the first stone was cast! ok, actually it was a stick, i'm pretty sure it was Mary Elizabeth throwing it at me. But then of course more people got involved... and you know, boys will be boys, which means that it ended up with me trying to protect myself against Brian and Jordan. Let me tell you that sticks, shoes, and practically everything was thrown! Anyways, after being tickled to the ground aka being molested... Jordan decides he's going to throw my sock into the tree... like James really needed a sock... So after a few tries and me in agony, my sock gets stuck up in the tree. SADBEAR!

Everyone was in chaos! How were we going to rescue my sock???

Plan #1: THROW CRAP
What better way to get something down than throwing things at it, hoping that we hit it JUST right that we can get it back down. We threw sticks and shoes to get it down... smart right? no... it doesnt work, but atleast we did not get anything else stuck up there! Strike plan #1.

Plan #2: HUMAN PYRAMID
Let's see what else can we do... ah! human pyramid, of course! Well, the next idea was spurred by Valiant Knight, Zach Parker. If we could only get Zach high enough maybe he could reach the branch which is so high that the air pressure probably changes drastically, then maybe we could get the sock. So Jordan and Brian quickly stand next to each other ready to take hold of his feet as we decide we'll be able to get him high enough to reach a little nub sticking out of the tree. Soon off the ground and into the hands of Jordan and Brian, we realize it's not going to work as wrists were about to snap. Strike plan #2.

Now if there were only way to get him higher. Laine exclaims...

Plan #3: THE BIKE RACK
"Oh, what about that bike rack over there!" Over in the corner sits a bike rack, and it wasnt currently locked on to any bikes... so it was perfect for use! We lean it up against the tree, and as we spot the rack, Zach, our valiant knight, climbs to the top, fearless and determined! First we hand him a few long sticks/cudgels, but all that we tried just could not reach! We looked around as a few students and teachers gathered from Manly and looked on. One teacher approached with a large folded banner... perhaps we could use it like giant chopsticks! Brian operated the chopping motion while Zach directed, good team work! But alas, we almost seem to be pushing the sock further away... well, after a few more tries, we manage to bring it a bit closer, but the banner is too big and clumbsy that it's too hard to get it. We needed more precision so we went, searching for another branch. (Zach is still up, practically hugging the tree to avoid falling.) We finally have found the perfect sized stick, and with a few tries the sock is reached and thrown down. Hooray! hip hip hooray! We safely get Zach down as we rejoice that the sock has been retrieved!

The next few hours were spent relaxing, leg wrestling, laughing, chatting and having fun. As people left, Laine, Zach, and I were left to ourselves to play. We ate pizza and drank cream sodas on the steps of Gorgas Library. Zach again showed his valor and bravery as he fought off a ravenous, raging yellow jacket! Laine and I were amazed by his abilities! He also knew the perfect way to fold the pizza box to get it inside the cylindrical trash bin. What can't this kid do!

Part 2: The Cheese Weasel...
I hope you havent forgotten how this is taking place on April 3rd. Everyone knows April third is Cheese Weasel day. And what more do we want to do than spread Cheese Weasely goodness! Mary Elizabeth, Laine, Brian, Zach, Jordan (later) and I went to buy some cheese slices; we ended up buying bread and cheese cake for ourselves... but we were mainly thinking of the many lives we would be cheering. We bought 48 slices of those pre-wrapped american cheese things. We wrote many sayings on them such as; "make cheese not war," "Happy Cheese Weasel Day," "When life gives you milk - make cheese," etc. We slipped those cheese slices underneath the doors of people who lived in Riverside North, we also left some in elevators and on boards too. We celebrated after our victorious night by eating cheese cake and bread back at the house. It was an amazing day and a great night!

I doubt it could have been better.

While Broken Hearts Prevail...

...it's nice to be alive and feel nothing at all.

Wow... spring break... I love it.
Well, it's Friday afternoon/night anyways, but it's practically spring break.

I'll be going to Hanceville tomorrow and then the following days will be spent back home in memphis. I can't wait to be back home, it'll be so nice to be sleeping in my room. What really grinds my gears is that there are a lot of people who are going to the beach to "have fun". As I've been listening to their talk, listening to their plans, listening to their soon to be golden days of sunbeams, beach, and bonding... I realize that I could never go. It's one of those times where things seem so foreign that i'll never be able to go. On the other hand it's probably best that I not go, no, I'm not worried that something may go wrong... I just know that I would make things awkward. As much as i love awkward turtles... most people do not, and at the beach I would be just that. I dont know what is it about the beach or areas lined by water, I just never feel quite right, for me it's just never a retreat, but when i'm there I want to retreat into the nearest hole and be alone.

Wow... spring break... I hate it.

Throw it all away...

I've got a good mind to throw it all away
After all, what is it worth...
- Frou Frou, "Maddening Shroud"

At the moment, this quotation is a good summary of what i'm feeling right now. I'm really just getting tired of it all, not really finding the things in my life that are keeping me going. Though I know it's wrong to feel this way. I mean, I'm not saying that my feelings are not valid or something along those lines. Well actually I can't find a better way to say it. As a Christian i shouldnt feel this way just because I have Jesus in my life and what He's done for me is a reason enough to keep pushing to keep on going. It's just lately i've been more or less apathetic to everything around me. It's really my selfishness that's coming into play.

but anyways....

A world of grief and pain...

Ku no shaba ya - A world of grief and pain:
sakura ga sakeba - Flowers bloom;
saita tote - Even then ...
-Issa

Maybe Issa is right, but what he doesnt keep in mind is that some flowers wilt faster than others. Right now, I'm on a rollercoaster, at times things are great, things cant be better... but then there are times where i've hit my lowest lows and i'm just waiting for my cart to derail.

Everyone needs to check out ElliotT Davis, an awesome singer with a band of brothers, i've seen him twice in a short time span and i've enjoyed both shows double fold. I had an hour or two talking to him at the Crimson cafe and it was a great time. He's a good guy.

In other news, I'm living off my dining dollars/ meal plan, as for actual money i have $10 in coins and 1 actual dollar bill... it's quite entertaining, really. 5 of those dollars are going towards whenever's the next time I go to City Cafe in the morning. So im willing to use less than what I have.

Hate most of my classes, dont want to go to really to any of them. It's really in my mind to:
A. Runaway, leaving college and everything behind me.
B. Get a job, raise enough money to buy myself a top of the line Canon digital slr and become a missionary. Using my camera to log my travel and coming and showing them so people can sponsor my travel.
C. Get over my fear of heights and join the circus so I can become a trapeze artist.

I'm really thinking "B." is the choice i'm going to concentrate on. Really i think that college is not for me. Maybe the problem is that I have no desire to do much in life and so my lack of passion is just really not helping me get through college. And that I suck, let's not forget that.

Oh well, i may have done something right for a change, made a cool image for Elliott. We'll see if it's usable. Hope it is, cause if not... i'm probably gonna be mopey JP for awhile since I finally thought I could do something helpful. Though I found out I cant reproduce the same style again, just cause i suck. So I may be already dried up.

sigh...

This is just the prologue...

[this is actually being posted during April of the year 2006, however I realized I forgot to mention this...]

The girl i was supposed to go on a date with on the 21st stood me up.

Crimson regrets...

I have been told, "pain is beauty."
then by all means, this beauty I will create
I will release the wrist bound banshee
By becoming hollowed, sorrowed than full, elate

I will take metal to it's fair fetter
let her run down my arm
let her dance and make my vision blur
oh, the beauty that will come of this harm

She will caress my head and make it light
My body scarred by her sharp elegance
Midnight be white, no time darker than tonight
Fore i'll soon only live in remembrance.

Movement stilled, i'll wield a rasp;
With a tick and tock, flows a crimson sea.
You'll know when you hear the crowd agasp,
That they have found me gone with my beauty.

JP Franco, February 21, 2006
(if you steal this, I will kill you.)

I wander the halls along the walls...

Bad days, good days, never in between. If you are asking, today was a good day and ended with a great night. I got a somewhat date, I dont know if you would call it a date, but with me and my complete lack of experience, I think it resembles a date or atleast that's what the movies tell me. (If you could give it to me, it's atleast a mini-date.) I got to drink the coffee and watch Donnie Darko with some of my close friends. Tonight, I realized that I hate when I talk, because it feels as though I'm not really saying anything. Sometimes I will speak, and my perspective only seems to read puzzled or discontented glares. I suck at life, apparently.

To be honest, I am afraid. No, not of the date, of losing and being lost. Like I said, I was with close friends, I've said that a few times before in my not-so-happy past... and what happened those times? A few reading should know, that's assuming people will read this... for the rest of you, I have lost friends, one chose an addiction over me, the other left me because I was me (I suck at life, apparently.) And then I have lost some in between, mainly my fault, because I havent given proper attention to those who need it. Anyways, I am afraid. I am afraid that I am going to lose the friends I feel I've gotten close to.

When I get close, when I feel the most comfortable, that's when it ends. That's when it always has ended.

I dont want that to happen. not again, please God I ask of you.
I am afraid of going back to the way things were, many of you do not know... many of you would not be able to guess, and some of you would probably be sickened or pity me by it. Depression follows me and through my smile, i'm probably crying inside.

If you read this and wonder, ask me about my past, I will tell you, probably... but if i answer you, please dont go.

When i stumbled upon pictures i tried to forget...

And that's how this idea was drilled into my head. Cause it's too important to stay the way it's been.

Well a new semester has begun and even though i would hate to admit it, as much as it pains me to even think of it... i've become my former self. I have lost motivation to do what I should, my grades, my school work, I dont even want to get it up for any of it.

I'm sitting right now at the Crimson Cafe, listening to my friends play the guitar as I try to get my thoughts together. A lot has happened, mainly things aggrivating and perplexing enough that makes me want to let my anger run seeping through my pores. However, there have been some blessings. It seems that I will be living in an apartment complex next year, the University Commons. It's gonna be good, it's gonna relieve the stress which comes from living in the fraternity house, an escape from having tolive with people i dont want to live with, free from the drama mongers. I will also be lving with and near some of my best friends down here.

Barrett came down to Memphis this past weekend. It was a blast, there was snow sticking to the ground, we were able to go to graceland too, it was a spectacle to behold. On a downside, Barrett did lose his phone when he fell outside trying to peg me with a snow ball... but right before we left memphis, a lady called and said she had found his phone. Apparently there's a Savannah that works at the Target pharmacy and her son comes and picks her up from work. She said she walked into her sons room, and sees that maybe he bought himself a new phone; he explains that he found it at target. Anyways, to make a long story short (too late), she is going to send his cell phone through the mail... we hope.

Valentine's day this past week, what a vile and horrible holiday, but this year... maybe not so bad. Looks like i'm going to have to start playing checkers at this cafe more often... :)

--Immerse yourself in love...